Monster

I am a monster, like the man who failed to raise me;
trauma has implemented more into my soul than i am ready to confront
Childhood dreams, faded bc reality turned into nightmares;
i sweat when I'm asleep, bc I'm sweeped over by these things,
images that plague me... yea, I am afraid
It is not demons nor killers, but I am my own greatest enemy;
held by the neck of my own hands, squeeze the way he's thrust, soak up what he failed to bust;
Grow into the seed from daddy's nut, yea sure daddy was nuts,
and so faith has punished me to become
Did he mean to hit her, yes....no? but did i mean?
Maybe it was the blunt softly pressed to my lips that took my memory away;
Have I forgotten to love her, did I love her in the first place?
Maybe the white lines created new lines;
and in between love was tainted, vision blurry from my high